Praying Together: When and How to Start

Praying together is one of the first genuinely vulnerable things a Christian couple does. It is also one of the easiest to keep postponing, which is why plenty of couples reach month six having never done it.

The awkwardness is not evidence that you are doing it wrong. It is evidence that you are doing something real.

When to start

There is no rule, but there is a useful test: if you would already tell this person what you are actually worried about, you are ready to pray with them about it. Starting much before that tends to produce performance rather than honesty.

Pray about the things you would have told them anyway. Everything else is a recital.

How to keep it simple

1. Keep it short. Two minutes is a prayer; twenty is a sermon.
2. Pray about the week you actually had, not the week you would like to report.
3. Take turns, rather than one person leading every single time.

If one of you is much more practised at praying aloud, that gap will show. Let it show. The point was never to sound fluent — it is to be honest in front of someone whose opinion you care about.

What it tells you

How someone prays with you is a fair preview of how they will talk to you when something has gone wrong. Listen for whether they pray about you, or merely near you.

None of this requires a plan. It requires starting once. If you are still working out what you are looking for, our membership plans are a good place to begin.